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“Polit­i­cal language…is designed to make lies sound truth­ful and mur­der respectable, and to give an appear­ance of solid­i­ty to pure wind.”

— George Orwell, 1946

COMMENT: George Orwell’s time­less quote fits the brouha­ha over the alleged psy­cho­log­i­cal assault against Chi­na ten­nis star Peng Shuai.

That alle­ga­tion is “pure wind,” as Orwell put it.

In a run-up to a forth­com­ing pro­gram or two about what appears to be a #MeToo “Psy-Op” against Chi­na in the run-up to the Olympics, we are pre­sent­ing a series of Food For Thought posts about key aspects of the appar­ent gam­bit.

In this post, we access an impor­tant, wor­thy arti­cle from Moon of Alaba­ma ana­lyz­ing the pro­found, overt dis­in­for­ma­tion craft­ed by the New York Times, among oth­er MSM sources and aligned ele­ments.

As the Moon of Alaba­ma analy­sis notes, Peng Shuai did not charge Zhang Gaoli with sex­u­al assault.

Peri­od.

That is a read­i­ly-ver­i­fi­able lie.

Peri­od.

In addi­tion to the Moon of Alaba­ma post, we also include the trans­la­tion of Peng Shuai’s Wei­bo post, which was retract­ed short­ly after being pub­lished, pos­si­bly by Ms. Shuai her­self, not the “cen­sors” to whom that has been attrib­uted.

Fun­da­men­tal to analy­sis of this series of posts and the pro­gram or pro­grams that fol­low is an under­stand­ing of the dynam­ics pre­sent­ed in FTR#801.

Key points of dis­cus­sion and analy­sis from that pro­gram include:

1. IOC pres­i­dent Thomas Bach’s pro­fes­sion­al back­ground.
2. Bach’s deep rela­tion­ship with Adi­das.
3. The gen­e­sis of Adi­das and Puma with the Dassler broth­ers, both enthu­si­as­tic func­tionar­ies of the Ger­man Nazi Par­ty under Hitler.
4. Bach’s work for Siemens, one of the Ger­man core cor­po­ra­tions and, undoubt­ed­ly, a key cog in the remark­able and dead­ly Bor­mann net­work.
5. Bach’s sem­i­nal pro­fes­sion­al rela­tion­ship with Juan Anto­nio Sama­ranch, Fran­cis­co’s Min­is­ter of Sport and an enthu­si­as­tic Falange fas­cist. Bach’s rela­tion­ships with Sama­ranch and Adi­das are fun­da­men­tal to his assent to being head of the IOC.
6. Sama­ranch’s appoint­ment of Juan Anto­nio Sama­ranch, Jr. to the IOC. Sama­ranch, Sr. appoint­ed over half the mem­ber­ship to the IOC.
7. Bil­lie Jean King’s “Bat­tle of the Sex­es” match with the iron­i­cal­ly named Bob­by Rig­gs. King is the founder of the Wom­en’s Ten­nis Asso­ci­a­tion, and the “Bat­tle of the Sex­es” sig­nif­i­cant­ly increased the grav­i­tas of that orga­ni­za­tion. That match appears to have been a “ten­nis racket”–pun intended–in which Rig­gs threw the match to help set­tle oblig­a­tions with key Mafiosi, includ­ing Car­los Mar­cel­lo and San­tos Traf­fi­cante. Mar­cel­lo and Traf­fi­cante are two of the orga­nized crime fig­ures who fig­ure in the inves­ti­ga­tion into the assas­si­na­tion of JFK.

Key points of dis­cus­sion and analy­sis from posts to come include:

1. WTA head Steve Simon’s long pro­fes­sion­al asso­ci­a­tion with Adi­das.
2. Zhang Gaoli’s foun­da­tion­al role in arrang­ing the Chi­nese side of forth­com­ing Win­ter Olympics.
3. Juan Anto­nio Sama­ranch, Jr. and his exec­u­tive role in arrang­ing the forth­com­ing Win­ter Olympics.
4. King’s net­work­ing with Glo­ria Steinem, who has a doc­u­ment­ed back­ground in the CIA.
5. A key archi­tect of Trump’s anti-Chi­na pol­i­cy and an expo­nent of the pro­pa­gan­dized “Lab Leak” hypoth­e­sis is Matthew Pot­tinger. He is the son of J. Stan­ley Pot­tinger, Steinem’s para­mour for some 9 years. Accord­ing to Don­ald Freed and Fred Lan­dis in their book Death in Wash­ing­ton, Pot­tinger helped cov­er-up the assas­si­na­tions of Mar­tin Luther King and Orlan­do Lete­lier. 

1.–“New York Times Invents ‘Sex­u­al Assault’ #MeToo Case To Blame Chi­na;” Moon of Alaba­ma; 11/19/2021. 

The ‘news’ over last years have again and again demon­strat­ed the noto­ri­ous unre­li­a­bil­i­ty of woke ‘west­ern’ media.

Andrew Sul­li­van @sullydish — 21:27 UTC · Nov 12, 2021

2016 elec­tion. Rit­ten­house. Cov­ing­ton. Russ­ian col­lu­sion. Vac­cines. Boun­ties on US sol­diers. Lab-leak the­o­ry. Jussie Smol­lett. The Pulse shoot­ing. The Atlanta shoot­ings. Hunter Biden lap­top. Infla­tion. Steele Dossier.

The MSM got every sin­gle one wrong.

When All The Media Nar­ra­tives Col­lapse
In case after case, the US MSM just keeps get­ting it wrong.

To those U.S. cen­tric sto­ries one must add all the false claims made about for­eign coun­tries — see Syr­ia and Belarus for recent exam­ple.  One then finds that the media do not report but, as Sul­li­van writes, “make the news fit the broad­er polit­i­cal fight”.

There is cur­rent­ly a push for a boy­cott of the win­ter Olympics in Bei­jing. West­ern media are busy to push for an anti-Chi­na angle of the games. Their aim is a polit­i­cal boy­cott so no one ‘in good stand­ing’ dares to vis­it them.

On Novem­ber 2, by time­ly chance, some well known Chi­nese sports­woman post­ed a sad sto­ry about the end of her love affair with a once pow­er­ful old­er man on the Chi­nese social media site Wei­bo. That post was soon tak­en down, like­ly by the woman her­self, but that was too late to pre­vent that the ‘woke’ west­ern media and Olympic boy­cott cam­paign­ers made a hash out of it.

A day after the post was pub­lished and unpub­lished the New York Times man­gled the facts to make it into a ‘woke’ anti-Chi­na sto­ry:

A Chi­nese Ten­nis Star Accus­es a For­mer Top Leader of Sex­u­al Assault
Peng Shuai’s accu­sa­tion against Zhang Gaoli takes the country’s bud­ding #MeToo move­ment to the top ech­e­lons of the Com­mu­nist Par­ty for the first time.

Peng Shuai, the pro­fes­sion­al ten­nis star, pub­licly accused a for­mer vice pre­mier of Chi­na of sex­u­al assault, ignit­ing an online firestorm of atten­tion to a #MeToo alle­ga­tion that for the first time touched the pin­na­cles of Com­mu­nist Par­ty pow­er.

Ms. Peng made the accu­sa­tion in a post on Tues­day night on her ver­i­fied account on Wei­bo, China’s ver­sion of Twit­ter. In it, she described an assault by Zhang Gaoli, who from 2012 to 2017 served on the party’s Polit­buro Stand­ing Com­mit­tee, the top rul­ing body in Chi­na. She also described hav­ing had an on-and-off con­sen­su­al rela­tion­ship with Mr. Zhang.

The post was removed with­in min­utes, but the alle­ga­tions swirled through the country’s heav­i­ly con­trolled inter­net, fueled by the fame of the accuser and the accused. That kept the cen­sors inside China’s Great Fire­wall scram­bling.
...
Ms. Peng’s accu­sa­tions could not be cor­rob­o­rat­ed.

Where is the head­lined ‘sex­u­al assault’ one might ask. The NYT piece wont say:

Mr. Zhang retired in 2018, when, accord­ing to Ms. Peng’s account, the two resumed a rela­tion­ship that had begun when he served in Tian­jin, which would have been between 2007 and 2012. She said he had first assault­ed her after invit­ing her to play ten­nis with him and his wife. “I nev­er con­sent­ed that after­noon, cry­ing all the time,” she wrote, not spec­i­fy­ing when exact­ly the assault occurred.

As it turns out no ‘assault’ had hap­pened. More­over Peng Shuai nev­er alleged that an ‘assault’ hap­pened. The New York Times made that up!

A full Eng­lish lan­guage trans­la­tion of Peng Shuai’s Wei­bo post can be found here.

Peng Shuai, who is 35, had an unusu­al rela­tion­ship with a mar­ried man who is 40 years old­er than she is. They first start­ed to have con­sen­su­al sex a decade ago and that affair kept going for a while until the man got pro­mot­ed:

“About sev­en years ago, we had sex. Then lat­er on after you got pro­mot­ed to be a mem­ber of the Polit­buro Stand­ing Com­mit­tee in Bei­jing, you nev­er con­tact­ed me again.”

The man, Zhang Gaoli, was in a new pow­er­ful posi­tion where any scan­dal would have had seri­ous con­se­quences for him, any­one involved, the par­ty and the coun­try.

But he had not for­got­ten Peng Shuai and as soon as he retired he again con­tact­ed her:

“About three years ago, Zhang Gaoli vice pres­i­dent, you retired. You asked Dr. Liu at the Tian­jin Ten­nis Cen­tre to con­tact me, and asked me with play ten­nis with you at Kang Ming Hotel in Bei­jing. After we fin­ished play­ing ten­nis, you and your wife Kang Jie brought me to your home. Then you took me into your room. Like what hap­pened ten years ago in Tian­jin, you want­ed to have sex with me.”

She did not want to have sex that after­noon and she nowhere claims that they had sex that after­noon. He asked for sex. She said no. Noth­ing hap­pened. She stayed for din­ner:

“That after­noon I did­n’t agree, and I kept cry­ing. I had din­ner with you and aun­tie Kang Jie togeth­er. You said the uni­verse is very very big. The earth is mere­ly a speck of sand in the uni­verse, and us human beings are small­er than even a speck of sand. You said a lot more than that, and the pur­pose was basi­cal­ly to per­suade me to drop my guard. After din­ner, I was still not will­ing to have sex. You said you hat­ed me. You said in those sev­en years, you nev­er for­got about me, and you will treat me well etc... I was ter­ri­fied and anx­ious. Tak­ing into con­sid­er­a­tion the affec­tion I had for you sev­en years ago, I agreed... yes, we had sex.”

She agreed, they had sex, and a lot of affec­tion for each oth­er:

“Roman­tic attrac­tion is such a com­pli­cat­ed thing that explain it clear­ly. From that day on, I renewed my love for you. Through­out my time with you after that, pure­ly based on our inter­ac­tions, you were a very good per­son, and you treat­ed me well. We talk­ing about recent his­to­ry, as well as ancient eras. You edu­cat­ed me on so many top­ics, and we had dis­cus­sions about eco­nom­ics, pol­i­tics. We nev­er ran out of things to talk about. We played chess, sang, played table ten­nis, played pool and also played ten­nis togeth­er. We always had end­less fun. It was as if our per­son­al­i­ties fit per­fect­ly togeth­er.”

Does any­one see an ‘assault’ accu­sa­tion in that?

Zhang Gaoli is mar­ried and has two grown up kids. His wife knew of his affair with Peng Shuai but seems to have put up with it. (Chi­na has, just like France, some tra­di­tion­al tol­er­ance for hav­ing mis­tress­es.) The rela­tion was oth­er­wise kept secret. At the end of last month the affair unfor­tu­nate­ly end­ed in dishar­mo­ny.

“I real­ly want to just live sim­ply, but things turned out dif­fer­ent than what I want­ed. On the 30th, we argued very bad­ly. You said on the after­noon on the 2nd, we would go to your home to slow­ly talk it out. Today at noon, you called to say you are busy, denied every­thing, made excuse to say we would talk anoth­er day... and just like this, you dis­ap­peared again, just like sev­en years ago.

“You played with me, and dumped me when you are done with me. You said there were no trans­ac­tions between us. Yes, that is true, our affec­tion towards each oth­er had noth­ing to do with mon­ey or pow­er. But I have a hard time find­ing clo­sure for, and com­ing to terms with our three year long rela­tion­ship.”

And that’s it folks. Zhang Gaoli and Peng Shuai had a years long affair. They loved each oth­er. But after three years they broke up. Peng Shuai has trou­ble to get over it. Hours lat­er she makes a pub­lic post about the issue which she, min­utes lat­er, deletes. That’s it.

Read her post your­self. Nowhere is there any claim of a ‘sex­u­al assault’ in it.

Nor is there evi­dence, as the Times insin­u­ates, that the some­what embar­rass­ing post was tak­en down by a cen­sor and not by Peng Shuai her­self. The New York Times makes all that just up.

The sto­ry then made the rounds through oth­er ‘west­ern’ media.

To no one’s sur­prise Peng Shuai has since avoid­ed the pub­lic. But that only encour­aged the con­tin­u­a­tion of the ‘west­ern’ media onslaught.

Ten days lat­er some self-impor­tant man from the Wom­en’s Ten­nis Asso­ci­a­tion (pushed by whom?) got involved:

Steve Simon, the chief exec­u­tive of the WTA Tour, called on Sun­day for Chi­nese author­i­ties to inves­ti­gate alle­ga­tions of sex­u­al assault made by the Chi­nese women’s ten­nis star Peng Shuai against Zhang Gaoli, a for­mer vice pre­mier of Chi­na.

Simon also called for an end to offi­cial Chi­nese cen­sor­ship on the sub­ject, and sug­gest­ed the tour would con­sid­er no longer doing busi­ness in Chi­na if it did not see “appro­pri­ate results.”

“Obvi­ous­ly she dis­played tremen­dous courage going pub­lic,” Simon said of Peng. “Now we want to make sure we’re mov­ing for­ward to a place where a full and trans­par­ent inves­ti­ga­tion is con­duct­ed. Any­thing else, I think, is an affront to not only our play­ers but to all women.”

What please is there to inves­ti­gate about a con­sen­su­al affair between a promi­nent man and a promi­nent woman in Chi­na? Noth­ing of course but soon every­one with a name in ten­nis felt that they had to step in. The WTA even released a state­ment on its site (which I can no longer find).

Yes­ter­day Peng Shuai respond­ed to Mr. Simon’s claims with an email which she also made pub­lic:

CGTN Europe @CGTNEurope — 17:32 UTC · Nov 17, 2021

Chi­nese ten­nis star Peng Shuai has sent an email to Steve Simon, the WTA Chair­man & CEO, CGTN has learned. The email reads:

big­ger

The email says: “The news in that [WTA] release, includ­ing the alle­ga­tions of sex­u­al assault, is not true. I’m not miss­ing, nor am I unsafe.”

In the email Peng Shuai also sen­si­bly asks to con­firm any fur­ther WTA state­ment about her with her­self. Some­thing that should have been under­stood in the first place.

Too late — the noto­ri­ous liars at the New York Times only use the email to fur­ther their polit­i­cal bid­ding:

“First came the shock­ing #MeToo accu­sa­tion by a famous ath­lete against one of China’s top lead­ers. Then came the accuser’s dis­ap­pear­ance from pub­lic view, one so thor­ough that ques­tions swirled about her health and per­son­al safe­ty.
...
The lat­est push­back on China’s effort to squelch the accu­sa­tion came ear­ly on Thurs­day after “Chi­nese state media tried to refute it, while say­ing Ms. Peng was safe and sound. It pub­lished an email pur­port­ed­ly writ­ten by Ms. Peng her­self, say­ing the sex­u­al assault accu­sa­tions were not true and ask­ing for offi­cials who run women’s ten­nis to stop med­dling.”

Note again that Peng Shuai orig­i­nal post DOES NOT CLAIM that there was any assault. There are no ‘#MeToo’ accu­sa­tions against Zhang Gaoli, only a sad out­cry of a woman at the end of a con­sen­su­al affair.

In her email Peng Shuai explic­it­ly con­firms that there are no sex­u­al assault accu­sa­tions. The Times has no evi­dence that the ’email pur­port­ed­ly writ­ten by Ms. Peng her­self’ was not writ­ten by her­self. Why does it insin­u­ate that?

The Times has pre­sent­ed exact­ly zero evi­dence that any ‘assault’ has hap­pened. Peng Shuai has nev­er claimed that any ‘assault’ hap­pened. She then explic­it­ly denied it. But the Times “makes the news fit the broad­er polit­i­cal fight”. Its tar­get in that fight, sup­port­ed by Mr. Simon, is Chi­na.

The response by the Women’s Ten­nis Asso­ci­a­tion just hours lat­er was unequiv­o­cal, sug­gest­ing that the email was very like­ly a crude fraud. “I have a hard time believ­ing that Peng Shuai actu­al­ly wrote the email we received or believes what is being attrib­uted to her,” said Steve Simon, the association’s exec­u­tive direc­tor.

The inter­na­tion­al furor over Ms. Peng’s accu­sa­tion has erupt­ed only weeks before a major event on China’s cal­en­dar — the Win­ter Olympics in Bei­jing. The Chi­nese gov­ern­ment now faces a new firestorm of crit­i­cism of its behav­ior, which has added fuel to calls for a diplo­mat­ic and com­mer­cial boy­cott of the Games.

And that folks is exact­ly what the New York Times want­ed to hap­pen.

The screed con­tin­ues with quot­ing ‘experts’ from the anti-Chi­na Lowry Insti­tute, a Chi­nese ‘activist’ liv­ing in the Unit­ed States, sev­er­al ten­nis play­ers who mis­judge the non exist­ing case based on the false NYT reports, the dis­cred­it­ed Human Rights Watch and some anti-Chi­nese writer in Aus­tralia.

To repeat it again. Some grown up woman made a social media post in which she was sad about the end of a years long love affair. Min­utes lat­er she, or some­one else, takes the post down. Screen­shots how­ev­er had been made and con­tin­ued to cir­cle.

There are no accu­sa­tions of an assault in her post. She says that one after­noon she did not con­sent to have sex and she does not claim to have had any sex at that time. Lat­er, in the evening, she con­sent­ed to have sex and the night reignit­ed a dor­mant love affair that con­tin­ued for three years. After the issue becomes pub­lic an email by Peng Shuai explic­it­ly con­firms that there are no accu­sa­tions of a sex­u­al assault. With­out any evi­dence that the rea­son­able email is fake its prove­nance gets ques­tioned.

The claim of an ‘assault’ was com­plete­ly made up between the ears of some New York Times writ­ers. To call them liars is an under­state­ment. They lie, invent and manip­u­late ‘facts’ for nefar­i­ous rea­sons:

Andrew Sul­li­van @sullydish — 21:27 UTC · Nov 12, 2021

2016 elec­tion. Rit­ten­house. Cov­ing­ton. Russ­ian col­lu­sion. Vac­cines. Boun­ties on US sol­diers. Lab-leak the­o­ry. Jussie Smol­lett. The Pulse shoot­ing. The Atlanta shoot­ings. Hunter Biden lap­top. Infla­tion. Steele Dossier.

The MSM got every sin­gle one wrong.

No, the MSN did not get those wrong. It will­ful­ly manip­u­lat­ed the news on those cas­es. It invent­ed ‘facts’ which were free of any evi­dence. It cre­at­ed big piles of bull­shit.

The Peng Shuai ‘assault’ case is just anoth­er one of those.

2–Full trans­la­tion:

I know I can­not explain this clear­ly, and even if I say it, it won’t mat­ter, but I still want to let it out. I am a hyp­ocrite. I admit I am not a good woman, and am in fact, a very very bad woman. About three years ago, Zhang Gaoli vice pres­i­dent, you retired. You asked Dr. Liu at the Tian­jin Ten­nis Cen­tre to con­tact me, and asked me with play ten­nis with you at Kang Ming Hotel in Bei­jing. After we fin­ished play­ing ten­nis, you and your wife Kang Jie brought me to your home. Then you took me into your room. Like what hap­pened ten years ago in Tian­jin, you want­ed to have sex with me.

That after­noon I was very afraid. I did not expect this to hap­pen — some­one helped guard out­side (trans­la­tor note: not very clear what she’s try­ing to say here), because nobody would believe that a wife would allow this. About sev­en years ago, we had sex. Then lat­er on after you got pro­mot­ed to be a mem­ber of the Polit­buro Stand­ing Com­mit­tee in Bei­jing, you nev­er con­tact­ed me again. I used to bury every­thing inside me. After all, if you did­n’t want to take any respon­si­bil­i­ty, why did you come back for me, and brought me to your home to have sex? It is true that I don’t have evi­dence. It is also not pos­si­ble to leave evi­dence. Lat­er on you kept deny­ing, but it is true that you were attract­ed to me first, oth­er­wise I could­n’t have been able to come into con­tact with you.

That after­noon I did­n’t agree, and I kept cry­ing. I had din­ner with you and aun­tie Kang Jie togeth­er. You said the uni­verse is very very big. The earth is mere­ly a speck of sand in the uni­verse, and us human beings are small­er than even a speck of sand. You said a lot more than that, and the pur­pose was basi­cal­ly to per­suade me to drop my guard. After din­ner, I was still not will­ing to have sex. You said you hat­ed me. You said in those sev­en years, you nev­er for­got about me, and you will treat me well etc... I was ter­ri­fied and anx­ious. Tak­ing into con­sid­er­a­tion the affec­tion I had for you sev­en years ago, I agreed... yes, we had sex.

Roman­tic attrac­tion is such a com­pli­cat­ed thing that explain it clear­ly. From that day on, I renewed my love for you. Through­out my time with you after that, pure­ly based on our inter­ac­tions, you were a very good per­son, and you treat­ed me well. We talk­ing about recent his­to­ry, as well as ancient eras. You edu­cat­ed me on so many top­ics, and we had dis­cus­sions about eco­nom­ics, pol­i­tics. We nev­er ran out of things to talk about. We played chess, sang, played table ten­nis, played pool and also played ten­nis togeth­er. We always had end­less fun. It was as if our per­son­al­i­ties fit per­fect­ly togeth­er.

I left home ear­ly (trans­la­tor note: pro­fes­sion­al ath­letes in Chi­na fre­quent­ly leave their fam­i­lies at a very ear­ly age to train full-time). On the inside, I am extreme­ly deprived of love. In the mid­dle of all of this, I nev­er thought I was a good woman. I hat­ed myself, I hat­ed why I came to this world. You told me you loved me, very very much, and you said you hope in the next life, we can meet each oth­er around the age of twen­ty, or eigh­teen. You said you were lone­ly. You pitied your­self for being alone. We had end­less things to talk about, nev­er ran out of top­ics. You said in your posi­tion, it is impos­si­ble to divorce. If we met in Shan­dong (trans­la­tor note: a province of Chi­na, of less polit­i­cal sig­nif­i­cance than Bei­jing), you would have been able to divorce, but not now. I thought I would just accom­pa­ny you qui­et­ly, not mak­ing any noise.

At the begin­ning, every­thing was fine. But as time goes on, things start­ed to change grad­u­al­ly. There was so much unfair­ness and humil­i­a­tion. Every time you asked me to go to you home, behind your back your wife said so many ugly and hurt­ful things to me. All kinds of jeer and mock­ery. I said I like to eat duck tongue. Aun­tie Kang Jie would go, “ew so dis­gust­ing”. In the win­ter when Bei­jing had poor air qual­i­ty due to smog, aun­tie Kang Jie would say, “it is because you live in the coun­try­side. We don’t feel that at all here”. Things like that, she said so much of them. When you were with me, she nev­er said those things. It is sim­i­lar to when we were togeth­er. When we were togeth­er alone, you act­ed one way, but when there were oth­er peo­ple near by, you would act anoth­er way.

I have told you this before, hear­ing those things made me feel very hurt and humil­i­at­ed deep down. Since the first day when I knew you, I have nev­er used a cent of your mon­ey, nei­ther have I ever used you to obtain any ben­e­fits for myself, but this thing called rep­u­ta­tion, is so impor­tant. Every­thing that has hap­pened, I deserve it. I have brought every­thing upon myself.

From the begin­ning to the end, you told me to keep our rela­tion­ship a secret, and most impor­tant­ly of all, I was to nev­er tell your mom we were hav­ing sex­u­al rela­tion­ships. Because it was her who dri­ves me to the Church of the Sav­iour (trans­la­tor note: a church in Bei­jing) every time, and then I would have to change to your car to be able to get into the gat­ed apart­ment com­plex. She thought I was always just at your place to play Mahjong or pok­er. We were always just trans­par­ent indi­vid­u­als in each oth­ers lives. Your wife was like the queen in The Leg­end of Zhen Huan (trans­la­tor note: a very pop­u­lar show about pow­er strug­gle with­in an ancient Chi­nese roy­al fam­i­ly), while words could­n’t describe how embar­rassed I felt.

There were so many times where I thought, am I still a human? I thought I was a soul­less crea­ture, fak­ing, fak­ing every­day, which one is the real me? I should­n’t have come to this world, but I don’t have the courage to die.

I real­ly want to just live sim­ply, but things turned out dif­fer­ent than what I want­ed. On the 30th, we argued very bad­ly. You said on the after­noon on the 2nd, we would go to your home to slow­ly talk it out. Today at noon, you called to say you are busy, denied every­thing, made excuse to say we would talk anoth­er day... and just like this, you dis­ap­peared again, just like sev­en years ago.

You played with me, and dumped me when you are done with me. You said there were no trans­ac­tions between us. Yes, that is true, our affec­tion towards each oth­er had noth­ing to do with mon­ey or pow­er. But I have a hard time find­ing clo­sure for, and com­ing to terms with our three year long rela­tion­ship. You were always scared I would secret­ly bring a record­ing device, and leave evi­dence. That’s right, oth­er than me, I do not have any evi­dence to prove what hap­pened, no audio record­ing, no video tap­ing. The only thing I have is mem­o­ry from my own messed up self.

For some­one as promi­nent as your­self, I know you said you are not afraid. But it does­n’t mat­ter if I’m hit­ting a rock with an egg, or being a moth that flies towards the flame, I am telling the truth about what hap­pened between us. With your intel­li­gence and wits I am sure you will either deny it, or blame it on me, or you could sim­ply play it cool. You always say you hope your moth­er in heav­en could bless you. I am a bad woman who does­n’t deserve to be a moth­er, but you are a father with both boy and girl. I have asked you this before, would you have done the same even to your adopt­ed daugh­ter? Do you still have the courage to face your moth­er after what you have done in your life­time? We sure all like to pre­tend we are vir­tu­ous...