OTTAWA — A former Canadian defense minister is demanding governments worldwide disclose and use secret alien technologies obtained in alleged UFO crashes to stem climate change, a local paper said Wednesday.
“I would like to see what (alien) technology there might be that could eliminate the burning of fossil fuels within a generation ... that could be a way to save our planet,” Paul Hellyer, 83, told the Ottawa Citizen.
Alien spacecrafts would have traveled vast distances to reach Earth, and so must be equipped with advanced propulsion systems or used exceptional fuels, he told the newspaper.
Such alien technologies could offer humanity alternatives to fossil fuels, he said, pointing to the enigmatic 1947 incident in Roswell, New Mexico — which has become a shrine for UFO believers — as an example of alien contact.
“We need to persuade governments to come clean on what they know. Some of us suspect they know quite a lot, and it might be enough to save our planet if applied quickly enough,” he said.
Hellyer became defense minister in former prime minister Lester Pearson’s cabinet in 1963, and oversaw the controversial integration and unification of Canada’s army, air force and navy into the Canadian Forces.
He shocked Canadians in September 2005 by announcing he once saw a UFO.
Well, we should probably be thankful that the aliens are apparently still willing to share their technology...it’s still a small world:
Here’s a peak at what life is like for the people working with the people working to destroy the future:
You have to love all the denials from Florida officials about an official policy banning the use of phrases like “climate change” when the entire article is about the unofficial policy that’s been quietly put in place (yes, the GOP thinks you’re stupid). Still, it wasn’t all bad news:
Well at least it’s ok to talk about sea-level rises. Just not, you know, the possible causes of those rises. It’s sort of like allowing people to talk about the existence of the plague while banning all talk of germ theory or penicillin...hey, at least you can mention all the dying people! Better than nothing!
Still, if someone could ask Florida governor Rick Scott to give E.T. a call (they’re acquaintances) so they could have a chat about the alien clean energy technologies, that would be great. They can even avoid using the words “climate change” entirely if need be...tell the aliens Florida is working on a death ray or something (it’s believable). Just get the conversation going, because as the following article points out, while the nations closest to the equator are generally the most screwed by the long-term effects of climate change, melted water doesn’t distribute itself around the globe evenly. As Antarctica melts and loses mass it’s also losing its gravity. And that loss of gravity means that newly melted water on the South Pole is going to start sloshing north:
“For the United States, the amount of sea level rise could be 25 percent or more than the global average.”
Uh oh, Florida. Did you hear that?
But don’t worry too much. After all:
Yep, you’re off the hook Florida! At least you’re off the hook for the full impact of all the changes. Your great great grandchildren might not be but who cares about them, right? They’re probably just going to be a bunch of ungrateful brats that don’t appreciate all the sacrifices you made for them anyways. Just imagine how bad they’re going to be, laying around with their hover chairs while robots cater to their every whims. Might as well preemptively flood them so they don’t get too lazy. That’ll teach ’em.
In other news...
Back in 1987 during a speech to the UN, Ronald Reagan famously opined:
Well get ready folks! World peace is almost here...assuming the discovery of alien microbes can trigger world peace:
“I believe we are going to have strong indications of life beyond Earth in the next decade and definitive evidence in the next 10 to 20 years”
So in another decade or two a very fun and rather profound announcement might be made, although since it’s likely just extraterrestrial microbes that will be found it doesn’t seem like humanity’s differences will evaporate overnight unless there’s a mass alien microbe invasion.
And even if there is a mass alien microbe invasion it’s not really clear that humanity will do much of anything about it other than dismiss the antimicrobial efforts as a unaffordable luxury that really isn’t a problem at all. Case in point:
Well that was rather Doomsday-ish, wasn’t it? But note that humanity isn’t totally screwed:
So there is something humanity can do to thwart the terrestrial microbe apocalypse: Humanity needs to put aside its differences and agree to a massive collective effort to reduce carbon emissions. Now. Or else the microbes sitting under that permafrost will fart us into oblivion.
Will we actually do all that before it’s too late? Well, it’s nice thought, but let’s just say that a world-destroying force seemingly intent on wiping out humanity doesn’t necessarily have to consist of aliens.
Just FYI, recent research suggests that the road we’re taking on the current mass extinction is looking eerily similar to the road that lead to one of the previous mass extinctions. Specifically, the largest one:
CO2: It’s life! On other planets.
Kidding! The extremophiles here on earth will be just fine.
With the insurance industry is getting increasingly antsy about the climate changed-induced disasters, an industry group, SmarterSafer, just issued a report calling for what will no doubt be a rather controversial solution for state-level inaction on climate change: the calls for increasing the levels of disaster preparedness, which shouldn’t be too controversial for the sane. But it’s also calling for changing the rules for Federal disaster assistance so that the states that do the least to proactively prevent a disaster receive the least in assistance following one:
While there’s certainly a ‘karmic justice’ appeal to that kind of approach to policy-reform, keep in mind that this sounds an awful lot like the eurzone-style path of “reform” that punishes states with a fiscal problem with a massive austerity program that’s supposed to somehow cleanse society of its wayward ways, that approach may not get the actual results the insurance industry or anyone else wants to see since GOP administrations have been punishing their voters for decades with horrible policies and it doesn’t seem to matter, especially in the states most likely to be negatively impacted by rising sea levels. It’s a bit of a mystery as to why that’s so, but it is what it is.
So we’ll probably need to develop a more graceful method of persuasion other than the “go ahead and destroy yourselves, idiots!” approach. That’s just not going to be very persuasive. Heaven help us.